Why adults have extramarital affairs?
Chat about a loaded topic that no one wants to talk about, this is it. Amusing thing, affairs have been going on since millennium. Extramarital affairs can be fraught with troubles, cause heartache, and other troubles. Also you have to wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and sincerety matter, funds, age dissimilarity, faith upbringing, remorse, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this article I shall classify an affair as a long term, maybe decades long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other persons, dating married woman.
Why do married people have affairs? There are as many answers as there are seek affairs. I am sure mostly though it is just the human nature, the need for affection, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and respected. Here are a several explanations I have run across.
Physically we as humans are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is enjoyable and fun, and sex makes us escape the real world for a short period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Some people are able to switch the wish on and off, some are good at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and elder, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another individual, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These desires and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos culture has erected against affairs. For lots of people the yearnings will overcome their fears and make them risk the anger of not only their relatives, but society too. So why, what is the means?
Sex Addicts, probably some of us are. Sex is awfully pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically obsessed sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not injure your family or anyone else? You would need to lessen the danger you are taking. If you have the attitude that a good affair is one that is advantageous to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the largest grouping, gigantic truly. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, but they feel happy in the way they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Then there are the kids to look after. Your money are so entwined. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay as a family besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that stop them completing the sex act, at least not with their spouse. An affair sometimes solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage whole.
Ignoring, sadly this is a common reason I fear. One or the other, frequently the man is sexually neglecting his wife for a number of reasons. As a male I really am thankful to you guys neglecting your ladies and making them available to us males of romance, making them “milfs” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just misplaced in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, maybe it is a shortage of love, maybe caring is not here, maybe it is the intimacy, maybe neglect. Could be we have simply developed separately, our relulas concerns diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is contradictory of what you want. Could be I just don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The first reason people give is, they look for the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to get away, for economic gain, for revenge and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.